Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Few things never change their course

It is a general course of life that one keeps learning and changing one’s personality with the passage of time. Times changes, personality changes and so the behavior .I used to think that it would happen to me as well. And this natural embracing of mature ways of life keeps me safe from making same mistake again and again .It will bring gravity and sagacity to my personality and I would no longer be the same old bewildered Arooj who would want to express herself but then would hold her words aback with a wish that the listener might understand her silent pain.

I still remember that after my fist week of school, my teacher said to me mother, ‘your daughter never weeps loudly, and she just sat and heaves sighs .that is something very uncommon in the children of this age. My mother did not believe as I was very bold child at home. Very confident and brave one. But it started happening in the later years of my childhood. I would speak alot,would share my bookish knowledge with my friends (though I had very few)and my elders, yet whenever the matter came to defend my own self or express something regarding my ownself,I would feel myself dump.

That period of childhood flew away. I managed to represent myself in front of the world in or other way. I left my real self behind and started dealing this world as a neutral observer( though I know that is something highly illusionary) as it was more easy for me then making confronting with a threat of defending myself again and again. But now I feel that after a lot of practice of last many years, my real self has started it again .I am no more a neutral observer, I feel the pain and sourness of the situation .I want to comment upon it .I want to complain. But I don’t know how. Again feel it difficult to explain my point of view .I used to think that one’s I would grow up, things will be solved. The grown up Arooj would not be as vulnerable as this little Arooj.But thing are the same; I feel the same old bewilderment that I used to face in early years of my life. I still feel difficulty in making a connection between my naive personality and world around. May be few things never change their course.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Does it always help to Debate?

I am the laziest student of my class rather least interested what’s going on around me except the lecture of my instructor. But few days back an incident jerked me .My teacher was teaching us a theory about pragmatics. He gave an example to explain some part of the theory. While giving the example, he made a comparison and during making this he happened to say that ‘’look students as we all know that ugliness is a bad quality. He said so just to explain some point. But a girl interrupted him by saying this’’No.Sir ugliness is not a bad quality is just a draw back’’.My teacher said that it is a bad quality because it repels other not attract. The same girl again rejected his point of view by saying that to be ugly is not the fault of any one so how it could be a bad quality. Sir said even though a person has no authority upon his/her look yet ugliness is considered one’s negative attribute.

Well a mischievous boy used this chaotic situation of the class by making some rude remarks about girl’s taking style and Sir had ti wind up his debate.

Well what I learned from this small incident is that one should ponder upon the situation and crowd at least once before staring any debate because most of the time paradoxical debates lead us to nothing.

And second thing that made me to write this post is an urge to ask the same question to my friends

Wht you thing ugliness is bad or negative attribute or not”

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Messed up

Flood, diseases, inflation, unexpected problems, family issues, and study’s matter .My mind had been mingling with such kind of stuff from the last two months. The prevailing pain in my surrounding did not let me to turn on my PC .The reality was so bitter that that I could not find any words to flourish my blog. Sometimes facts make us dumb and miseries do not let us play with the idealistic world of abstract words.

Though I am not directly the victim of flood, yet I can feel the causes, effects and aftermath situations. The insensitivity of human race not only snatched the essence of humanity but also invited the wrath of divine hand. Well……………………..I am here to say hello AFTER A LONG ABSENCE to those who felt my absence and even those who do not even know about my existence J.