Friday, December 24, 2010

Magic of voice


I love to speak. Being a female there is nothing new in my just uttered statement as every woman has more or less inclination to speaking bout rather talking about different matters.

But I really love to talk since my childhood when I was not even aware of gender discrimination. Fluent flawless speech is my weakness. I often think about the variation that exists between vocal cords of different people. I get tackled by the charm of beautiful, thundering, sometime smooth or Husky voices especially in documentaries where narrator’s voice is responsible for creating a magical realm that can captivate the Viewers.

I few hours ago .I heard a documentary in the voice of Dilly Barlow’’.

Wow.Amazing.Superb.

And I dedicated my post to her and all those people who make this tool of communication ‘’language’’, more attractive for all of us.

Friday, December 10, 2010

50/50

Keep remember your past if you don’t want to make same mistake again and again.

Forget your past; never look back, if you want to move ahead.

The most obvious advisory statements, that everyone listen in one or other day dy of one’s life.

Both attitudes are contradictory. Isn’t it?

But you know what I do. Though I am not a famous personality nor I have achieved something very special in life yet my sharing has some worth .you know why? I belong to the most widely spread type of human beings. I belong the category of common man.ooops common woman infect,J

The same common man who survive through thick and thin yet his existence remain undistinguished. A common man who put in every phase of his life yet his endeavors remain untocied.Well its very big topic.

Let’s come to the point. What I do when comes the matters of opting or discarding my past.

I show a 50/50 attitude.

I forget the people who did wrong with me, but keep remember the circumstances that led me towards that trouble so that I could avoid them in my present and future.

I forget the tears that I shed in my pas- as the memory of them starting pinching my eyes-and keep remember the smiles that I have had on my face at some departed day.

I forget how people broke my heart yet keep remember how I gathered my shattered pieces and moved ahead.

Try it !

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Nature's Art


I am not a good photographer at all. I usually take blurred pictures even with a properly tuned digital camara.But sometimes it happens that we feel ourselves too compelled to do something that I can’t even think about doing in normal situation. And days of exams cannot be considered normal days at all. As I am mingling with final exams of my boring diploma, I was jolted by an innate photographer hidden somewhere in me. Today I was sitting in my university ground and saw a rotten fallen tree and just found nature’s crafting .Give It a look.:-)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Jealousy


I always try to personify any feeling by explaining them in terms of tangible human behavior. Though it’s weird yet it works. As it become easy for me to mend myself .As last night I was thinking about the feeling of jealousy .I was trying to portray what exactly happens while a person becomes the victim of such a poisonous emotion. Then it reminds me that when I caught the infection of chicken pox at the age of 4, there was sheer itching on my face. But my mother asked me not to rub that itching spots as it would ruin my face. She told me to be patient as once the infection would be cured so thus the itching.

Then I came to the conclusion that jealousy is like a constant itching. Every time you feel it, you want to rub yourself .Friction produced heat. Itching boils down for a moment. But it again appears. Constant rubbing reddens your skin and then there appear scars. Scars continue to exist for few days and left behind constant mark. The force you invest in rubbing your own skin to get rid of mere itching becomes a constant mark. Once we start feeling jealous of someone. This emotion ignites a fear that we could be unnoticed in the presence of envied one. We start working hard. We make our activities rather fast to leave behind our competitors. And once we do this; there comes some more figures that prove themselves a threat for our ego, for our feeling of having been best so far. We again increase our pace of working. In doing so, we don’t even realize that this endless labor leads us nowhere. Jealousy is not a driving force but rather it keeps us mingling with life and during this tussle ,we seriously damage our personality. There is no cure in this world for this emotion. The best way is to bear that itching without rubbing it. Soon it will disappear without giving you any harm

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Hug


Today my father gave me a Hug.

Wow!

It felt me so special.

Very reassuring as it assured me my father’s love for me.

Very protective as it gave me a feeling of being inside an aura of affection.

Very calm as it soothed me while I was out-raged by a hell of reasons.

I and my father, were having a kind of continues arguments since last many days. But today I had a quarrel with my younger brother as he did something wrong .I wept a lot. I was so disturbed .But then among such a teasing moments I got something.

A hug –From a father to his daughter-

I know everything will be fine. Soon the differences of my younger brother with rest of the family will boil down. Yet the affectionate gesture of my father will always be with me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Endearing Remnants



Where is my knife? You know I can’t use any other thing for cutting these vegetables. My mother would shout like this whenever she could not be able to find an old knife (that more looked like a dagger) while working in kitchen.Infact that knife has a complete history. My mother used to say that that knife was a production of her grandfather (maternal) ‘s genius mind, when he was in Kenya .My mother would add more spice to her narration by saying that he used to build home with wood and live near a wild forest for gathering timber. During His stay, he made this knife for himself and then it handed down in mother 's family.My mother eventually had this Family monument. We got so amazed by listening this story as it was astonishing for us ‘’The journey of a knife from Kenya to Pakistan.

Then my mother had another antique dresser ( a sort of) which has an embellished and emotional history. My mother was very dear to her grandfather (paternal).She spent her childhood in his company and listened his stories about British India. He said that he purchased this dresser from a British officer while he was leaving for Britain at the time of partition.

These are two monuments of my home very dear to my Mother. This month it has been 5 years since she left us (physically).People departed and left their lovely belongings behind and a lot of memories.May her soul rest in peace.(Ameen).

I don’t know whom among we three siblings will claim for having these monuments. We haven’t decided yet.:-)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Uncertainty

I am feeling so empty today as if I am having no control over anything happening around. Then following few lines seemed of doing a catharsis of my perplex condition.

All my life I believed I knew something. But then one strange day came when I realized that I knew nothing, yes, I knew nothing. And so words became void of meaning. I have arrived too late at ultimate uncertainty.

Ezra Pound


Monday, October 4, 2010

Resonate your Life


I often feel weary, at different times of day: sometime in the morning while leaving for work, during nights sleeping late night with worried concern of getting up early in the morning, sometimes during lunch having the same conventional ordinary stuff .Doing same things with a same pace at the time at the same place makes me more like old moldy machine .whenever this boredom starts getting on my nerves, someone whispered; wake up girl, break the ice, give a jerk to your routine by Resonating your forgotten relationship. Relationship???

Yes relations; Father, mother sister, Brother, wife, husband etc .Keep them alive by pushing a ‘’refresh’’ button once a week .share a cup of tea with your sister a telling her about an incident at office. Offer your helping hand to your mother in making dinner and while working at cutborad, tell her about your upcoming plans and add her goodwill to your enterprises. Give a tight hug to you younger brother for a mere reason that he is looking dashing in grey tea shirt and blue jeans. Enter your father’s room, sit at his bed, and put down your head on his shoulder, and start telling about all those things which are teasing you for no specific reason.

Life is tough, life is strict, life is monotones, life is dull yet it offers us such sweet relations those never get old or dull nor let our life to act sluggishly. We always can add some vibrating force to the inertia of life by resonating our relation with our loved ones.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Colors Reflect



We have had our house painted this week. Such hectic time it was. It seems colors are getting on our nerves. But it was necessary from the point of view of cleanliness and to somehow for aesthetic sense (if we had any).The choice of color for their respective rooms expressed personality of each of my family member .The color they chose for their rooms showed their inner intensities. For example, my father is a person who still likes the home decor of 70s and 80s.He never came out from the charisma of off white paint. Besides this, he wants everything in order in really smooth and straight manner so he has had all the walls of his room painted with a same color. After a great endeavor I forced him to give a little bit different shade to one corner so that it could break the monotony of the room

My little brother is a great admirer of wrestling and Randy Orton. He like aggression in everything. His pompous personality can be read through the dark maroon painted walls of his room. A perfect slot for bewildered creature like him.

And comes the matter of my own room which I shared with my elder sister (it would be better to say that she shares it with me).We are the girls not very sure about our choice and plans. And most of the time being sensitive concerned daughters, we have to consider whether out budget allows it or not. So in this confusion, we made a lot of decision with a hope that our room would be looking like fairy land. But in the end, we made a blunder like ever. Our habit of making decision at the last moment (as we usually do in case of our Eid dress) made our room a display of a pervasive confusion. Its neither pink nor tea pink. Something near to red but not red infect. We well we are trying to hang good sceneries on walls so that it could get some artistic aroma to our room .

So do you really believe that the choice of color we made reflect our personality?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Few things never change their course



It is a general course of life that one keeps learning and changing one’s personality with the passage of time. Times changes, personality changes and so the behavior .I used to think that it would happen to me as well. And this natural embracing of mature ways of life keeps me safe from making same mistake again and again .It will bring gravity and sagacity to my personality and I would no longer be the same old bewildered Arooj who would want to express herself but then would hold her words aback with a wish that the listener might understand her silent pain.

I still remember that after my fist week of school, my teacher said to me mother, ‘your daughter never weeps loudly, and she just sat and heaves sighs .that is something very uncommon in the children of this age. My mother did not believe as I was very bold child at home. Very confident and brave one. But it started happening in the later years of my childhood. I would speak alot,would share my bookish knowledge with my friends (though I had very few)and my elders, yet whenever the matter came to defend my own self or express something regarding my ownself,I would feel myself dump.

That period of childhood flew away. I managed to represent myself in front of the world in or other way. I left my real self behind and started dealing this world as a neutral observer( though I know that is something highly illusionary) as it was more easy for me then making confronting with a threat of defending myself again and again. But now I feel that after a lot of practice of last many years, my real self has started it again .I am no more a neutral observer, I feel the pain and sourness of the situation .I want to comment upon it .I want to complain. But I don’t know how. Again feel it difficult to explain my point of view .I used to think that one’s I would grow up, things will be solved. The grown up Arooj would not be as vulnerable as this little Arooj.But thing are the same; I feel the same old bewilderment that I used to face in early years of my life. I still feel difficulty in making a connection between my naive personality and world around. May be few things never change their course.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Does it always help to Debate?



I am the laziest student of my class rather least interested what’s going on around me except the lecture of my instructor. But few days back an incident jerked me .My teacher was teaching us a theory about pragmatics. He gave an example to explain some part of the theory. While giving the example, he made a comparison and during making this he happened to say that ‘’look students as we all know that ugliness is a bad quality. He said so just to explain some point. But a girl interrupted him by saying this’’No.Sir ugliness is not a bad quality is just a draw back’’.My teacher said that it is a bad quality because it repels other not attract. The same girl again rejected his point of view by saying that to be ugly is not the fault of any one so how it could be a bad quality. Sir said even though a person has no authority upon his/her look yet ugliness is considered one’s negative attribute.

Well a mischievous boy used this chaotic situation of the class by making some rude remarks about girl’s taking style and Sir had ti wind up his debate.

Well what I learned from this small incident is that one should ponder upon the situation and crowd at least once before staring any debate because most of the time paradoxical debates lead us to nothing.

And second thing that made me to write this post is an urge to ask the same question to my friends

Wht you thing ugliness is bad or negative attribute or not”

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Messed up



Flood, diseases, inflation, unexpected problems, family issues, and study’s matter .My mind had been mingling with such kind of stuff from the last two months. The prevailing pain in my surrounding did not let me to turn on my PC .The reality was so bitter that that I could not find any words to flourish my blog. Sometimes facts make us dumb and miseries do not let us play with the idealistic world of abstract words.

Though I am not directly the victim of flood, yet I can feel the causes, effects and aftermath situations. The insensitivity of human race not only snatched the essence of humanity but also invited the wrath of divine hand. Well……………………..I am here to say hello AFTER A LONG ABSENCE to those who felt my absence and even those who do not even know about my existence J.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The world is Thine, not mine

Last night, I was reading an Ode written by poet of east ‘’Dr.Muhammad Ilama Iqbal’’.In this Ode, he communicates with God and apparently charge him for all the happenings or mishappenings in this world. This apparent blame game has sheer shades of respect and ultimate obedience.

This single line’’ The world is Thine, not mine’’ can rescue the man from an everlasting dilemma regarding the concept of misfortune. We keep on mingling our head with the things that do not comes in our territory and are surely decided in His precinct still we do not accept this fact and do not enjoy the things that we have in the lamentation of those which we don’t have. The lack of faith in the supremacy of God makes us feel like falling Govt that is roaming in bewilderment among angry folk. We keep standing our self in a witness box and keep persecuting it for failing in respective mission having being forgetful that there is a God who ready to listen and hold us even though we have fallen in the bosom of ignominy.
The divine hand that is responsible of our creation is also responsible of our well being so have faith in His mercy and keep going ahead.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Just a tint of jealousy


A few days back i came to know that one my middle school class fellow just completed her MBBS.the girl who gave me this news was expecting a quite melancholic response from my side.The fact is that i myself felt a bit soreness in my throat after getting this apparently casual news.The girl who just passed her MBBS.(bachelor in medicine) used to be my best friend in 8th class.But this friendship lasted only for few months.i was outstanding in academic activities and co-curricular activities as well.one day she came to me and said;''Arooj why don't you leave first position for me in coming exam''.I got shocked and ;''why?''She said;''you are already famous for debated and other co-curricular activities to just allow me to show myself in this single field of Justify Fullstudies so don't make good diagrams in the paper of science so that you wont get highest marks''.Well this single event created a long distance between us and both opted different ways.
My mother wanted to make a doctor.But i never felt any special interest in this field.When this very girl came to know about my tentative future plan,she said i also want to become a doctor.Time passed,she got admission in medical college and I opted English literature in my Honors.i am quite satisfied with life.But today when i came to know about her a negative though hit my mind''oh she won the race''.But which race i myself don't know.

sometimes in life we ourselves start considering other as our rivals and start judging our life with respect of their progress.By doing this we just forget that we all come certain guts and some specific domain of skills.And we are supposed to prove ourselves in these specific fields.

So congradulate my long forgotten friend wish you a bright future''

Monday, May 3, 2010

Still We Believe




sometime in life we came across with dark night without even a single glimpse of moon and shimmering stars,still we believe that soon there will be a shiny day.

sometimes in life there comes such a wildest autumn that all trees get deprived of leaves and trunk looks lifeless,still we believe there will be spring with chirping birds and colorful flowers.

Sometimes we meet rude people uttering sour words with sarcastic tone ,still we believe there will be some sincere friendly will be waiting for us standing in the next stop.

Sometimes sheer pain surround all whole body and legs seizes to move,still we believe that soon there will be an active current that make us move again.

sometimes we lost all loved ones accidentally still we believe that there will be a miracle that brings some caring hands for us.

Look such type of sometimes surround our whole life but a mere Strong believe keep us alive.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I am Alive


Good evening
I am here with a day’s bulletin.

8 am .In the morning my ex-Wife called me and demanded her share in business we started together though she didn’t spend even a single penny while we were investing money now she is demanding fifty percent share.

9 am .My Boss called me and informed that I am not going to get increment this year.

10 am. My girl friend called me and said that she is going to wind up relationship with me. Reasons are still unknown.

11 am. My closest came to my place and that he cannot start joint business with me as his wife is not in the favor of this.

12 pm.My sisters called me that she needs 50 thousand dollar immediately otherwise she will never see my face.

1 pm.I fell from the stairs and got severe injury on my elbow. I had to postpone all, urgent important projects.

2 pm.My son returned from school with his shirt torn apart .He had a quarrel at school.

3pm.My neighbor rang the door bell and complainED that my younger son has destroyed his lawn while riding his bicycle.

4pm.My father had heart attack and now is admitted in ICU.

5pm.My ex-wife again made a threatening call and asked me to arrange her required money s soon as possible.

6pm.I started feeling temperature and decided to visit my family physician.

7pm.When I went to garage and was about to leave for medical checkup, I found that my car was punctured.

8pm.Right now I am standing at work shop and looking at mechanic working at my car.


Breaking news:
I am still alive.


(I posted these lines few months back.my present depressing scenario of life requires the same driving force again)