Heavenly Muse

Very tired of daily issues, I was so angry with life, was not able to find any place where I could reside and spend few peaceful moments. Then my escapism helped me out and leads towards realm of imagination. I felt myself in my mother’s womb. What sense of relief I felt over there. A sense of protection. A sense of nourishment. A sense of care. A feeling of utmost potential energy ready to convert itself in kinetic energy. J …me and my imagination. Best friend forever.

At last after an immense preparation and a bundle of concern, I got married at 24 th of November. The big day of my life passed away so briskly. I grew up watching my mother’s picture in bridal dress and found her reflection in my bridal photographs. My father, my sister my younger brother and my sweet home said me Good Bye with weeping eyes yet smiling faces. I left a phase of my life and entered a new one. Yet I stole thousands of recollections from childhood and a number of memories of my teenage .This stuff will surely accompany me in my new life and never make me feel lonely.

You know what I just did? I sit with myself and give it a long broad smile. After having such a happy meeting with my own self; I am feeling really light. Good practice .doesn’t it?

Living among thousands of uncertainties, coping with fears, tackling with subtle challenges, and having a combat with untimely flow of tears; that is the cruel part of a practical life. I am grown up, mature and sensible yet I am not ready to admit that I am living in such a harsh situation. Arooj is still impractical. I guess she needs some time.

It’s always nice to be loved yet it’s nicest to be respected. And if you could manage both, the world is yours.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ( Groucho Marx ) Dedicated to all the irresponsible men .

I spent four years of my B.A Honors watching through this window of girls’ common room. My 2 or three free hours got consumed sitting there and watching how the light comes through and illuminates the whole darkness of old room. I used to think how light finds its way inside. I always got hopeful and energetic whenever I observed the play of sunrays with the navy-blue curtains, brown furniture and dusty carpet. In no time the whole room embraced the light .I liked it the moment most when darkness surrender itself in front of light. I want the same play in my other areas of life.

How it is easy to generate complexity ; To put the burden of heavy thoughts to make breathing tiresome. To utter a single ‘’No’’ to the eyes waiting for ‘’One yes’’. To pass one dry statement to drain off the smile from the face. We take such easy steps to create what a difficulty for others. isn't it strangely sad ! (That’s what I experienced from life. May Allah bless us)

Today I read my palm with the help of palmistry websites. (Authentic or non-authentic). Such an ordinary hand I have got. No fate line . Career line is lost or hidden somewhere. Health line is also not giving good signals. The ‘ ’logic space’ of thumb is also very narrow. The girdle of Venus shows I am inclined to get mental collapse. Head line is too long in one hand in too short in other. Marriage line was the most ambiguous one. I suddenly close my hand to get rid of the drawn luck on my palm. But the very next moment I found myself giggling. I realized, it’s not my hand which needs to be closed but the free webpage of palmistry. Believe me ,now I am feeling really good.

I always feel that the extent of care and attention I have been showing towards other, I don’t get the same in return. Very bitter realization! But I started feeling this since the start of my socialization. My easy going attitude could not always earn the same response for me. Believe me, I could have been the victim of this bitter reality but then one day my teacher gave us a very good lecture regarding one’s true self. He says; Just imagine when you communicate or deal with someone, your personality represents letter ’’A’’. And other’s represents letter ‘’B’’.what ever you do, whatever you say, it comes under the qualities of ‘’A ‘and same is the case with the representative of ‘’B’’. The moment you starts behaving under influence of ‘’B’’, the’’ A’’ starts losing its identity. Supposed if B is not sincere and A also reduce the level of sincerity .This very attitude makes A to behave like B and eventually another B emerges on the ashes of A . So be yourself regardl...

Hi to all after a very long time. This time a wish if sharing a story I read long ago in a children magazine (in 1996 or 97 made me writing this post. I believe that every one living in current times needs to give it a reading .The story was in Urdu, I tried to translate it in English in a possible comprehensible way. ‘’once upon a time, there was a poor young couple used to live in a small village. They were extremely poor and possessed only a dilapidated hut, a small piece of land and weak goat. Husband really worked hard round a clock yet the small field did not return enough. Despite all these hardship, there was something in there life that never let their excitement and hope die and that was the smile of the wife. When husband came back to home really tried after a whole day work, the smiling face of the wife erased all of his exhasuion.He often asked his wife, “dear, what it is that always keeps you happy and contented even in such bad situation’’.She replied, ‘I don’t know bu...

Now a days I am getting very self -centered. I guess it’s because of my being free most of the time and having nothing much to do. Well during this conference with my ownself.I discovered something about my deepest lying attitude. And this attitude has something to do with my internal fear. I felt that as I am a human being (the news so far about my living style prove that I am a human being J ),so my attitude might have been the part of some other people’s personality as human being share few traits. At the age of 8 ,I started writing poetry. Initially, there were just some collection of couplets then soon it started adding the shades of love poetry in it. At the age of 12 I was a writing a complete ghazal with tinge of parting moments, infidelity of lover, and the longing of beloved. These were the emotions and experiences I had never felt at that time. Even I don’t even feel any emotional attachment with any one as I was very young; just 12 years old. Life was really smooth with...

I have been talking since the moment it’s even difficult for one to understand words. But I have talking since that part of my life. During childhood I loved to talk about almost every type of matter. I memorized the name of some politician and amazed the listener by the information I gathered from news and from the conversation with my grandfather. Though it was not completely a wise talk yet it enough wise one it came from a five years old girl. I always stored a number of historical incidents and narrated them according to the situation.My huge storage of jokes and quotations made my talk even more interesting .I remember I was the most famous student in school and university. Not because of my wisdom or intelligence just because of my TALK.(A true talkative lady J ) Well then time took usual turn as it supposed to at certain period of my life. I disconnected myself from academic life and become house dwelling girl. I have more or less the same sort of knowledge with more polished...

Change…change…change… Innocent childhood changes itself into blooming youth and leaves behind its carelessness . Youth changes itself in a wise middle age and leaves behind the sweet taste of subtle foolishness………. I hate this word….this state…..this idea……. It says the hope for the best…soon the things will change their course…but I ask why they are not already on the right path. When a single change brings some good to one’s life it also shake some settled matters. I know it’s stupid but I am really fed up of this phenomenon.

He died today; who? It’s not even necessary to mention. People are making joy in America. They are rightful doing this. People with extremist bent of mind must be feeling sorry for Laden’s killing. People having moderate ideas must be having sighed of relief. What will be the aftermath? People in Pakistan are apparently relived with this incident but actually afraid of America‘s next move regarding Pakistan and Taliban residing areas. America has authority .He has right to write nations’ fate. So they all have same question in their eyes How many drones there will be in the celebration of this successful maneuver? How many suicide attacks there will in Pakistan in the revenge of laden’s death as Pakistan does not prove to be safe place for him How many more people will die? How many ………………….. Not being a Muslim, neither being a Pakistani, I think of it hundreds of time being a Human being ‘’Humans planned, humans are trained to kill, Humans design a killing plot h...

In this materialistic age; where blood relations are lacking of mutual reliance their importance; It’s difficult to believe that a specific group of people know that how to earn others trust in few seconds. This person neither resides near your living place nor do they belong to their work place. Yet, they win their heart in such a tremendous manner that you just can’t figure out what is right and what is wrong. Let’s imagine yourself in a situation where you are about to shop some goods and the shop does not really have any attraction and you are about to leave that shop. The moment you put your step at the threshold the shop keeper requests to you to just see some special stuff and also says that as you are not bound to buy yet you can lend some precious moments. Your hearts melts down and you decide to just give them a look just to honor the shopkeeper request. He starts showing you the same ordinary things that you already have seen but this time he asks about business, your work p...

Very difficult to endure that none is waiting for you when you come to home after a tiring day. Very hard to believe that none is looking for your arrival to a gathering. Very thorny to swallow that fact that none is enough attentive to listen your words. And similarly very difficult to believe that none is waiting for Arooj ‘s next post. My busy lazy husband, my sluggish busy doctor sister and my complex cousin, no one ever read my post without my insistence to do so. How sad na. But from now on, I decided that I will write regardless anyone is reading or not. There must be something in this life that we could do only for our own self. So I will write for my own self.:-)

Though there was a bulk of mistakes. But the sincerity and hard work of Afridi was the most lucid part of the game that being a sensible Pakistani I cant ignore. After a long long time I proudly dedicate this post to our accomplished captain who led our team in such a difficult situation.May our politicians could learn from Afridi that how could one sail a rotten cruise. We truly Love you Afridi And wish a good bright future to Wahab Riaz.

Yes I asked myself this question so many times while shopping with my aunty and elder sister were moving from one garment shop to another for preparing some dresses for my wedding. OH God. The occasion is expected in November. And we had been strolling for more than 3 hours in market for the prepration.Both of them; my aunty and sister were continuously talking about my dresses and the color that suit s me most. What kind of style I should follow. I myself was looking at every dress with a prospect that how it will look at me.Even when we came back from this shopping venture and were sitting at auntie’s home.my cousin brother also took part in the preparation of my dresses. He was so concerned that would suit Arooj and that wouldn’t. I was confused whether it’s me who is important or the occasion. ‘’The moment your parents send their daughter way makes her that much important. Though, throughout my life I have experienced sheer importance of myself in almost every kind of gathe...

The first Gift of Flowers that I have ever received in my life. Strange! I never received flowers in my 25 years long life span despite being a social being.Well.Its really nice to receive such a lovely gift from a person who is your Mr,Right,officially and emotionally.:-) (Especially when we both are officially bound after Nikah ceremony and waiting for a wedding ceremony expected in November)

No flower always smells the same , No butterfly always sheds the same color from its wings ,No happy incident always holds the same stamina to make one smile, No sad happening always keep one sad. None holds eternity except one thing that is BOOK. Last day, I visited my favorite bookshop. After a long endeavor, I managed this visit. When I was strolling between bookshelves, my heart was feeling a strange ecstasy as if I am going to hunt a buried treasure. Then I found my treasure: a complete collection of my favorite writer Chaim Potok. I don’t remember that how much old this relationship between me and books. But I know one thing that keeps this relationship stronger and alive. And that thing is my wish to keep myself fresh and to add new flavors to apparently the same looking life. I can’t claim that reading is the only habit that keeps one fresh yet I am enough assure to say that books are really selfless friends they just shower upon you immense happiness and demands nothing ...